How You Do What You Do

Nana: “How about some oatmeal for breakfast?”
Grandson: “How about a cookie?”
Nana: “How about a cookie AFTER the oatmeal?”
Grandson: “How about a cookie now?”
Nana: “How about oatmeal AND a cookie for breakfast?”
Grandson: “How about that cookie now?”

This being said as he walked to Nana’s special Granny-Cupboard.

Sammy, age 3, has the condition called SPE. He is always Specific, Persistent and Expectant.
He has it dialed:
Ask for exactly what you want.
Continue until the message is heard.
Fully expect that the good will happen.
And, as his older cousin once decided, “Nana  can’t say ‘No’. She can’t.  It is a rule.  Nana isn’t allowed to say, “No”.

Pretty amazing lesson here.

Imagine what our relationships would be like if we adopted Sammy’s SPE. No more hinting, pouting, whining, beating around that overused bush. Straight out expression of our wants and needs. Straight out and honest effort to say what needs to be said. Then we continue with calm persistence until we are heard. No anger. No shouting. No “Why-don’t-you-ever-listen-to- me?” Express the need with total belief that the listener will respond.

And then go stand by the right cupboard fully expecting that the good will happen.

A little child shall lead them, right?


Further Proof

by Pat Antonopoulos

There is zero chance that I am a grump. Zero. Each time I think, “Well, maybe…just maybe I need to work on more ‘up’ and less grump, something wonderful happens.
It just did.
An email from my son:
“Mom, Frank, (his son, my grandson) is so delightful that it is delightful to me to think about how delighted you and Bob will feel when you are around him.”
Those joy kind of tears that punch up from the heart and clog the throat.
How could a woman with knowledge of this depth of father-to-son love feels anything but joy.
And my son shares his son with me in emails like this.
No room for a grump.


by Pat Antonopoulos

A Star Trek episode had children dealing with Grumps…Grown Ups. At least, my memory has the kids working around the cranky behaviors of the adults in the colony.

I think I am a grump. I don’t want to be, but hints are piling on. Rereading my blogs and a few chapters from Four Ordinary Women is hard-core evidence that ‘grump’ is the noun that works. Some of my writing reads as if I am soured on life, lamenting one thing or another. I am not!

The odd thing is that I am one of the happiest and most contented people I know. If I had to come up with something I want more of, it would be family time. That’s it.Not clothes. Not jewelry. Not a replacement for my ’99 Buick GrannyMobile. Not a bigger house. Not more travel. Not fine dining.

OK…maybe a few more boxes of Orville’s Kettle Corn in the cupboard would post some security on that evening habit. A paper fairy to make decisions and clean my desk would be nice. That sums up the current and most pressing needs of my life.

There is an ‘except’.
We, the four authors of Four Ordinary Women, have been enriched by time spent with women’s groups. Our quest is to find more opportunities to share the stories of your lives as we meld with the stories of our lives. Each time we join a group for conversation, we are realize the common yet extraordinary threads of connectedness. We come away appreciating the time and the company.

If you are in a group or know of a group that would enjoy sharing this experience, please do contact us. There is a contact button on our website,
We would love to hear from you.